


You Can Kid The World, But Not Your Sister

by HK44



Series: Percy At The Nome [5]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Kane Chronicles - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Mental Health Issues, Monsters, Panic Attacks, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HK44/pseuds/HK44
Summary: It was like the world had slowed between the seconds that it’s tongue lifted off of Felix’s hair and it’s entire body convulsing. It went so painfully still, a broken yelp echoing from it’s mouth. She saw the way it’s eyes bulged, Percy stepping in close. As though the parasite alien from Alien was breaking through, she could see the shift of muscle and bone underneath it’s thick mass of fur.And then the room was splattered in blood and yellow sand.
Series: Percy At The Nome [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759660
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	You Can Kid The World, But Not Your Sister

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a quote from Charlotte Gray. Other sibling quotes found [here.](https://www.happybirthdaymsg.com/siblings-quotes/#Short_Siblings_Quotes)

In hindsight, maybe they should’ve anticipated the possibility. Monsters may not have been able to understand the real difference between demigods and magicians and would fight either one that happened to be close enough but they were still attracted to a specific type. Percy’s scent was obviously still sending out wild signals that they as magicians were not able to mask.

She took a couple steps back, grabbing her wand from her pocket. Felix was a few feet ahead of her, frozen to the ground, penguins squawking around him in blind waddling panic. The monster was a Hellhound - smaller than Mrs. O’Leary but at first sight, they hadn’t noticed the size difference which is why Felix had thrown open the window to go pet it and why it was now stalking around the edge of the Great Room, instead of being blasted off the side of the wall it came in.

She steadied her wand out. Felix was so close to it and as much as she’d gotten better at  _ not _ blowing things up, she sure as fuck had difficulty doing that when panicking. All the other kids around her were trainees, small, unpolished. The older kids were scattered around the house but she could hear their footsteps thumping close in.

Part of her wondered where Bast was. She’d be so good right now, always up to fight a dog.

Percy swung around the corner, breathing hard. Riptide was glowing. The Hellhound took one look at the demigod it had come for and leaned down to drag a giant slimy tongue all over Felix’s face. As though, trying to decide who it was going to eat first. Skinny terrified child or powerful demigod with a weapon.

It was like the world had slowed between the seconds that it’s tongue lifted off of Felix’s hair and it’s entire body convulsing. It went so painfully still, a broken  _ yelp _ echoing from it’s mouth. She saw the way it’s eyes bulged, Percy stepping in close. As though the parasite alien from Alien was breaking through, she could see the shift of muscle and bone underneath it’s thick mass of fur.

And then the room was splattered in blood and yellow sand.

Felix was coated in it.

And so was Percy. Percy who was breathing hard, his arm still extended.

Oh.

_ Oh _ .

“Felix,” she whispered. “Felix, come here.”

Felix didn’t move but as she stepped forward, Percy swung around, eyes feral, frantic. She dropped low, ready to fight back, arms out to protect the others and a call to Isis thrown out into the universe. Then Percy’s eyes faded. His brows furrowed. He stepped back, looked around the room and then stumbled back, blind panic overtaking his body. Sadie ran forward, collecting Felix into her arms just as the others came thumping down the stairs.

“Hey!” Carter rounded into the room, looking at her with terror in his eyes, his khopesh out and glistening. “What happened? Where’s the monster?”

Sadie didn’t speak. She could barely look at him, still trained on Percy who was backed up against the wall, staring at all of them like they were nightmares.

Monster blood dripped down his skin.

Carter turned to face him. “Percy?”

He took a few steps forward and Percy’s paled so quickly it almost turned paper white. He looked on the verge of screaming or killing himself. “ _ Don’t _ .”

Carter froze.

Percy slowly dropped to a squat, shaking where he stood, arms wrapped around himself, eyes wild. “ _ Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me _ .”

Zia looked over everyone, the room, the terrified, shaking man across from them. “What happened?”

“A- A Hellhound broke in,” Sadie said. “Percy-”

His eyes snapped up to hers. Her breath caught. Something deep in his gaze spoke of untold horrors, of nightmares, of fear and she couldn’t speak.

But the others gathered it easily from the mess around them.

“Percy?” Walt started. “Percy, do you want us to get someone for you? Your mom, Annabeth? Grover?” His voice lowered as Percy rocked back and forth. His eyes were squeezed shut. He was crying. “Nico?”

He let out a strangled noise.

Walt took another step forward and Riptide glistened out at him. Walt went still. He didn’t take another step forward or another step back.

“ _ Please _ ,” Percy whispered. His hand shook. Riptide trembled in his grasp. “Please don’t come near. Please don’t. Please.”

They were all trapped where they stood. This wasn’t how they did things in the Nome. They helped each other, they fixed each other, they listened to their pain. They were a giant family. It was horrifying to see him caked in blood and not be able to approach him.

Even when Walt accidentally disintegrated a lizard he’d been trying to catch for the babies, he didn’t hide. It was so obvious he’d wanted to and he didn’t let himself touch  _ anyone _ for as long as it took Nico to train him into controlling it. But he didn’t hide. He  _ talked _ about his fear, he  _ talked _ about the weird confinement it was to be a hazard of death when just years before he was on the verge of dying. It was a strange twist for him. He was still coming into it.

He talked. They all did. Even if it hurt, even if the others couldn’t understand, it was better to get it all out in the open.

And if they couldn’t, there were always the therapists and healers at the First Nome. The ones Amos went to for his PTSD. They were happy to accept patients from the Brooklyn House and happy to come down and spend time there when asked, especially with the young ones who had their own myriad of issues between learning to handle their powers and missing their families and monsters.

The Nome was a school, not a training facility for child soldiers.

Were the kids at Camp really just straight up fucking supposed to ignore all the horrors of life and pretend it wasn't real?

Was that how it operated?

She was disgusted.

"Step back," Bast said.

Walt followed her instructions, slow and steady. Percy's eyes were volatile, violent, something Sadie would have expected to see in a veteran. Not a twenty-year old. 

Bast eyed Percy over from Sadie's side. Her claws retracted. She sighed. "Oh, little pup," she said fondly.

With assured steps, she prowled forward. Percy quaked but didn't hiss at her like he had with the others, didn't snarl, didn't fight back. She pushed his blade away and squatted at his side. Her voice was low, hushed. Then Riptide was gone and Percy was heaving loud, choked sobs into her chest.

Everyone startled at the sound.

As quick as they had appeared, the crying had vanished, leaving sniffles behind instead. They rose together, Percy curled into Bast's side. As she turned towards the stairs, she rearranged him so he was farthest away from all of them.

"Let's get you cleaned up, puppy," she murmured.

His head snapped up. He looked at all the blood and viscera around them. Trying to detach himself from Bast and failing with how tight her grip around his waist was, he stammered, "But I- I-"

"It's okay, Perce," Carter said. "We got it." He waved him off. "Go take a bath."

Bast dragged him off without another word.

Sadie dried off Felix's hair, draping the towel around his shoulders. He wasn't in shock but he'd quietly asked her to stay and she'd chosen to scrub him down instead of watching him wash the blood off himself. It made it easier to think of all traces of it vanishing from his skin.

"Hey." She smiled soft at him. "You okay?"

He was usually much more chatty. Now he was quiet and withdrawn.

He blinked up at her and nodded. "I'm just processing some things."

She nodded and feathered her fingers through his wet curls. "Okay, well, if Carter hasn't already, I'm calling down some First Nome healers to talk about what just happened and you're going to be there, okay?"

He nodded. 

"Great. Let's get you dressed, yeah? Tired of seeing your dick."

He snorted but began dressing himself while she stood up slowly and pinched the bridge of her nose. It was taking all her energy not to dissolve into a mess in front of him.

He'd been  _ so close _ to being swallowed whole and all she could think was how much adrenaline was pounding through her. How she was guaranteed to blow him up and it was like a trap. Watch a child blow up or watch a child get eaten.

Either way.

Death.

"Will you check on Percy, please?" Felix looked up at her with his big eyes. "I would but I think he'd get scared."

She pursued her lips and nodded slowly. "Of course, Felix."

He folded his towel and put it in the basket to be cleaned later. "Cool. I'm going to go hug my penguins now."

She let him pass her to open the door then yanked him back into her chest. A couple more years and he'd fully surpass her height. But no matter how old or tall he got, he'd always be one of her babies.

She kissed the top of his head and he beamed at her. Then she pushed the door open. They split up, going different ways. Him to his penguins being washed off by Jaz in one of the communal baths and her to Percy at the end of the bathroom at the end of the hall. The farthest away from anyone else.

Pushing a hand through her hair, she took a deep breath before turning the doorknob and looking in. Percy was sitting in the tub, submerged up to his neck. His knees peeked out from the water. He was just staring down at the water, eyes wide, body still, like a corpse.

She stepped inside. “Hey, ocean boy. How you doing?”

He didn’t look at her. “I’m naked, Sadie.”

“What’s your point? I’ve seen a lot of penises in my day,” she said, trying on a really bad Southern drawl as she sat down on the toilet. “Walt’s penis, Felix’s penis, Carter’s penis - all of them.”

In any other circumstance, he would’ve turned red and laughed. But now his brows just furrowed. His lips twisted downwards, not a frown, but just a sad misery implanted into his skin. “Carter’s trans.”

“T gave him a mini-penis,” she said. “Fascinating how that works, yeah?” She grinned but when he said nothing, it dropped and she looked away. “You know, I asked him if that technically means my clit is a penis and he threw a bread roll at my face.”

Percy still said nothing. Made no reaction to her words, not even one of minor disgust.

She licked her lips. She had about as much class as Bast did when it came to hunting for the shabti mice the kids would create for her. Sitting on a toilet next to someone who was basically dead inside was not her jam. It was barely her  _ bread _ .

She pushed her hair out of her face. “Move your legs, I’m getting in.”

He finally looked at her. “Sadie, I’m  _ naked _ .”

“Yeah and so was Carter but I still took baths with him.” She climbed into and stood, water sloshing around her ankles. She stripped off her skirt and threw it onto the floor. It scattered against the tile and up to the door. She crossed her arms. “Legs! Come on, Jackson, I know you’re not deaf and if you magically became so, I know  _ some _ sign language!” She slapped her legs and gestured for him to move. “Legs! Move! Hurry it up!”

He scowled at her but drew his legs to his chest and she plopped down unceremoniously in front of him. Water sploshed around her. She ignored it.

“That wasn’t sign language,” Percy said. “One of my neighbours was deaf. I brought him the newspaper every morning until he died.” He pinched his fingers to his thumbs, lined his hands parallel to each other and gave a sharp jerky movement to the side. “ _ That’s _ move.”

“Very cool,” Sadie said. “How are you?”

“I think I’d be better if the little sister of one of my best friends wasn’t sitting in the tub with me while I was naked,” he deadpanned. “If I wanted you to join me, I would’ve gotten in one of the communal baths.”

She shrugged. “I’m very pushy about being where I’m not wanted. Now answer the question.  _ Honestly _ .”

He didn’t. Instead he fixed her with a violent look that spoke waves. It took all her self-control not to cast magic and fixture him in place.

“Percy.  _ Felix _ asked me to check on you - remember?” She leaned in. “The kid you just soaked in blood and  _ guts _ ?”

It’s a cheap shot. No part of her would ever deny that it was a  _ cheap _ as fuck shot, like a sucker punch to the back of the head, a move made by lesser men and cowards. But she knew that it was the only thing that would snap Percy out of this funk.

“I’m fine,” he said, voice quiet as a whisper and monotone. “Can you go now?”

“You’re not going to hurt me, Percy.”

“That’s what my mom said.”

She went still. Percy crossed his arms, fingers digging into his skin so deep she was sure he was bruising himself.

“That’s what she said and I still tried to  _ claw her fucking face off _ just because she touched me when I wasn’t expecting it, so,  _ no _ . Sadie.” He fixed her with a look, angry, hurt,  _ scared _ . “I don’t think I’m going to hurt you but I know I  _ can _ . And I  _ refuse _ to have that on my conscience. Why do you think I lock my fucking door every night now?”

She leaned back. The spout on the faucet dug into her back. When she looked at Percy, it was hard to see him. He felt older than he usually did. On edge like a wild animal but drawn so deep into himself, it reminded her of a porcupine. Protecting the soft parts, only showing the edges.

“You don’t have to tell me to go,” he said. “I’ll call my mom when I get out. I just wanted a few seconds to myself.”

“We’re not making you leave.” He stared at her, eyes narrowed. He thought she was lying. She hated that. “Percy, what the actual fuck?” She watched him. “Would your precious shitty camp make you leave?”

“No. But that’s because I serve a purpose to them.” He said the words like they were bitter in his mouth. It felt like acid to hear. “They never wanted me to leave.”

_ Assholes _ , she though.

“Percy, we’re not making you go anywhere, alright?” She reached out and grabbed his hands. At her touch, he reacted violently, slamming his entire body back and wrenching his hands out of her grip as though she’d burned him. “ _ We’re not _ . Everyone just wants you to feel safe here. Why would we throw someone hurting out on the street? It’s not like you killed someone! You got rid of a monster about to  _ eat a child _ . That is fucking  _ excellent _ work, okay?

“Was the method terrifying and gross? Yeah! But did it work?  _ Yeah. _ ” She reached out to him again and he kept pushing back, trying to back up and going nowhere. She pulled back. He didn’t relax. “We don’t want you to leave. We  _ like _ you. Felix  _ likes _ you. Carter  _ likes _ you. You’re the first friend he’s ever had that was age appropriate!”

She stood up and kicked him. “Move!”

“Excuse me?”

“ _ Move!” _ She walked up to him and began trying to squish her entire body behind his. “It’s fucking hug time, idiot. Accept it!”

“Sadie-” He tried to elbow her. “Sadie, stop it! I’m fucking naked!”

She pushed him forward and wiggled down until he was sat between her legs. Then she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him in close like he was one of the ankle-biters, just another baby for her to console. He grumbled but didn’t protest. Just covered up his junk with his hands and held himself still.

“You really think we’d just let you vanish again?”

He didn’t say anything.

She sighed and leaned her forehead against the back of his neck, wishing she’d taken the time to learn some more calming magics. Maybe then she’d be more help.

As though the universe heard her call, Jaz walked in. She blinked at the sight before her, stifling a giggle when Sadie quickly shook her head.

“Hey, Percy,” she said slowly as she began to approach him. She squatted at the side of the tub. “How are you doing?”

“Clearly fantastic,” he deadpanned. He titled his head up. “Please don’t tell me you’re getting in here too.”

“I would but I’m a  _ huge _ lesbian,” Jaz said. She cracked a smile and let it stay even when he didn’t react. She lifted her hands and moved them towards him slowly. “I’m just going to calm you down a little. Your body doesn’t look like it’s reacting very well.”

“Yeah, well, I have a teenage girl attached to my-” He jerked away from her and snarled, slapping her hands away. The water around them sloshed angrily, raising like a storm. “ _ NO!” _

Jaz jolted back, her hands still raised but now in surrender, eyes worried.

Sadie tugged Percy back. “Percy, Percy, relax. It doesn’t hurt.”

“It’s just to calm down your heart!” Jaz explained. “It’s been beating like a wildcat since… earlier.”

“That’s so freaky how you can do that,” Sadie laughed, burying her face into Percy’s neck and tightening her grip on him as he fought to escape her. It was hard being half submerged in his element but she bled through her own magic and hissed out, “ _ Tas _ .”

The water burned under the effort of her trying to control it against his will but as she squeezed her eyes and buried all her effort into it, it spun around his arms, chest and legs like a rope, until he was barely moving. The water untouched by her word still raged, snapped like a viper at Jaz, who stumbled up to her feet, bouncing back. Her hand drew to the amulet around her neck.

Sadie squeezed her eyes shut again, trying hard as Percy rocked against her, nearly smashing the back of his head into her jaw.  _ “Drowah. _ ”

Light spilled around them. The boundary shot up and the water stung at the edges of it. She’d never had to use that spell to keep others safe from  _ her _ . It was unsettling to be on the wrong side of it.

Jaz watched her worriedly but slowly reapproached until the edge of the boundary wisped at her feet. Then she lowered herself to the bath mat and waited for Percy to stop raging, keeping her hands safely placed under her butt.

He glowered at her but relaxed after a few minutes. Sadie didn’t drop his bindings or the boundary. Under his chest, she could still feel his heartbeat hammering away. He was still tense, pulled in.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Jaz said once he was calmed down. “It’s more calming than anything else.”

“I don’t care,” he said quickly. “Don’t fucking do anything to me, Jaz. I’m tired of people fucking with me.”

“Oh.” She faltered. “Right.”

He grit his teeth. “ _ Back up _ .”

She did, scooting back until she hit the door. She didn’t lift her hands an inch. Sadie sighed. This… this wasn’t really what she’d been expecting. Maybe she had no idea. The way the Nome was, the way Camp was - they were so violently different set-ups and she had no clue how to handle any Percy’s issues no matter how much she wanted to help. It was clear none of them did.

All she could do was tightly hug him to her chest and hope that it was enough to make him feel safe.

Walt ducked into her room. “Hey, hey.”

She pulled out her headphones, Adele streaming faintly through them. “How’s the mess?”

“Cleaned up.” He threw himself out next to her and rolled over onto his side, propped up on one elbow. “How’s the water boy?”

“I think he died a long time ago,” she said. “I think we’re just fostering a dead guy now.”

Walt snorted. “I wouldn’t doubt that. Weirder things have happened. Our boyfriend is a dog-man who helps run the Underworld and your brother can turn into a flying chicken.”

She rolled her eyes. “It does kind of look like a chicken, doesn’t it?”

He hummed. “How are  _ you _ doing though?”

“I hate it,” she said because she wasn’t an idiot and that’s who preamble was for. “I hate that he panicked so hard and won’t let us help him. I hate that he hides. I want to go to that dumbass Camp and just- fucking burn everything.”

“Carter would never let you do that.”

“And that’s why I wouldn’t tell him.” She fixed Walt with a look. “Would you help me?”

“I would,” he said. “You know I would. But burning down the only home and safe place to a bunch of orphans and kids who otherwise would die before the age of fifteen isn’t going to stop the fact that he’s suffering now. You don’t even like other demigods.”

“I like  _ this one _ , though. And Nico. But I don’t think he counts anymore.” She grinned lazy and scuffed her foot against Walt’s. “He’s more like  _ everyone’s  _ demigod.”

Walt laughed. As he dropped back, he cradled his hands against his stomach. “Anubis does say he thinks of him like a little brother.”

She smiled. “Aww, that’s cute.” She fiddled with her headphones, smile slipping. “Do you think if we didn’t have Amos or Bast, we’d be like them? All tortured and sad?”

“I don’t think so.” Walt scratched the edge of his jaw. “Our relationship with our gods is so much more different. They’re  _ born  _ to fight for them. We’re born and given the choice to fight  _ with _ them. I mean, gods, what did Percy say? Some of them didn’t even get claimed until after the first war? Because he told them to? How do you have children just to ignore them like that if you don’t value them as people, ya know?”

He sighed. “We could never end up like that. Our gods need to value us. Otherwise, they’d just get booted out and ignored. There’s no precedent for us to help them. We do it because they help us, because usually they’re  _ good _ to us. The others don’t have that option. They do nothing and they get blasted into a pile of rocks, because, hey, at least there’s twenty other ones they can drag into their crap. Who needs defiance?”

She nodded. “So what you’re saying is… instead of burning camp down, I should burn Olympus down.”

“Sadie, no offense, but as strong as Isis is, I do not think she’s going to help save you from a dozen gods trying to murder you for burning their house down,” Walt said, squinting at her. He grinned wildly. “But I mean, I’ll still help. I was dying anyway, I’m good with it.”

She snorted. “Your life was  _ so _ sad.”

“It  _ was _ . And then I met you. And Carter. And Zia. And Jaz and Felix and Cleo and Julian and everybody in this house and Anubis and Nico and it’s gotten way better.” He reached over and collected her hands into his, squeezing them in his. His palms were warm, as always, and it was  _ lovely _ to recognize. The heat a reminder of the life that was still flowing in him. “You have to trust that Percy will find it better soon too. And that he’ll seek help when he’s ready to.”

She bit her lip. “I want to. I really do. Because I don’t want to be his mom, you know?” Tears welled to her eyes. “I mean that’s the reason he’s here, right? Carter- Carter said that his mom was trying too hard and it was freaking him out and he was- he was going to- to-” Her voice shattered.

She didn’t know Percy that well or that long but she liked him a lot. She liked him when his life was just a subtle presence in hers, when his name was just a passing word that Carter said sometimes on his way out the door because it meant Carter had something outside of the Nome and that was important to her. And she liked him when he moved in and agreed without any protest that he was in charge of doing everyone’s laundry for them.

She liked him when he hefted the ankle-biters and the young ones into the air and pretended they were planes and flew them around and when he made water horses dance around their heads like a carousel before naptime and told them stories about Greek myths in a hushed voice, everything sounding like wonder.

She liked him.

She did not want to wake up and find that he killed himself.

Walt shushed her softly, releasing her hands so he could pull her into his chest and cradle her tightly.

“We won’t let him get that far,” he murmured. “We’d be really bad caretakers if we did.” He stroked his fingers through his hair. “Do you think he’d listen to Amos?”

“I don’t know if he’ll listen to anyone,” she sniffled. She pulled back and looked up at Walt. He was watching her, eyes drawn back in thought. “I’ll call him though.”

Amos had been through a lot. As far as she knew, therapy for him, for what Set had put him through, had lasted longer than any of them anticipated. It had lessened off after they banished Apophis but she knew from the times he visited he was still a little spooked. Bast usually took off and would come back in a host that would curl up in his lap while the babies fumbled around him and showed him pictures.

Whenever he was there, they also tried to limit any hosting. As much as he’d improved from his time being an unwilling host to Set and then, later, choosing to host him willingly, it was hard to be reminded of it. As far as she knew, he didn’t let himself host if he could avoid it. Which, lucky for him being Chief Lector, one of the most powerful magicians around, he generally could.

When she found out the specifics after she moved in, Clara used to stay away but despite being under the same path, he liked her. It was clear she reminded him of his pain but he still took her aside and told her how to fight it if Set got too strong, if he tried to take control, how to only take a little bit of him at a time.

Otherwise, he’d raged through them. The god didn’t have a clue how to be nice. She hated it and him but at the same time, it was his schtick. She couldn’t fully blame him for being an ass when that’s what he was made to be. Rage, destruction, the unholy barrenness of the desert.

She still did, of course, because fuck everyone who was an ass, even if they had a valid reason. There was no reason valid enough to hurt her family.

Amos would be a good person for Percy to talk to. Someone who’d been hurt by gods, even if it wasn’t necessarily in the exact same way. Someone who’d been drained from them, who wanted to run from them but couldn’t. Someone who went back to them when others needed help because he was a good person.

Amos would be happy to help Percy. Even if he wasn’t fond of other gods, he’d never let someone they’d brought into their family down.

She just couldn’t be sure Percy would accept it.

And that scared her.

**Author's Note:**

> me with any other stories: HAPPY ENDINGS BABY. WE LOVE NICE STUFF  
> me w/ any “percy at the nome” au fics: this is a pain house only
> 
> honestly, angst w/ percy is so easy bc he's just a very damaged person and it sucks that we never got any actual discussion on his mental health (or any of their mental health) but it's probably for the best. at least i can make my own resolutions for him.


End file.
